It can cut so deeply, permeate inside you, scar you forever.
How do you recover? How do you move on, when it’s a deep ache within, that seeps out your unhealed wounds with every reminder of it or anytime you are left alone with yourself and thoughts.
It seems, the worst pains, are the pains without closure. The pains that you have endured, from people that offer no remorse, empathy or apology.
Now here’s the bitter truth, if that’s what you feel you need, to be able to move on, heal or forgive… it may never happen for you.
So, how do you move on?
I recieved this quote the other day, from a Christian web site;
“True respect for another comes from self respect. True love for another comes from self love. True forgiveness for another comes from self forgiveness.”
Deep, isn’t it?
How many people, when hurt, turn around and hurt themselves?
How many retract into their own world of self pity, self hate, cut themselves, drink, do drugs and punish themselves after being hurt by someone else?
Somehow, feeling, somewhere deep inside, that they deserve it. They don’t deserve better. That somehow, they brought it upon themselves, blame themselves.
Can you see how that quote, applies?
How could we possibly have the ability to forgive someone else, when we can’t even forgive ourselves?
Simply, we can’t. We can’t heal from outer wounds, while self inflicting our own wounds.
We have to go inside ourselves, to the root of the problem. We have to look at ourselves, go over each mistake we have made, feel the pain, forgive ourselves for it and then release it. Which is a hard, but necessary process.
Secondly, we have to stop listening to our own lies. The battle field is in the mind, and there are deep rooted lies that you have been telling yourself, for years, maybe your whole life. That inner voice that talks down to you, that tells you that you deserve it, that lies and tells you that you don’t deserve love, kindness or any other good treatment. The lies that tell you that you deserved what happened to you, because you might have condemned yourself for something you had done in the past, that you haven’t forgiven yourself for. Or maybe you didn’t meet your expectations, or maybe the truth in your mind has become so twisted that now, when your abuser tells you that you caused it because you didn’t do something they think you should have done,said or been..or that you’ve brought it on because of something you did do, said or were at some point, you now allow yourself to believe it over that tiny inner voice within that tells you, that it’s not true.
You will be a prisoner all your life, if you remain in your cell, while holding the keys to freedom in your hands.
NO, you didn’t deserve it. YES, it was unfair.
You have every right to feel hurt, betrayed, mislead, abandoned, used, lied to, lied about, unfairly mistreated, cheated and on and on… but you have to LET IT GO!
I know, easier said than done. You may feel like, perhaps, they don’t deserve it. (To be forgiven ) Maybe you are now full of bitterness, vindictive and spiteful. You may be full of anger, hate, you want to lash out. You want to hurt them back. You want them to feel pain, too.
Don’t sink to their level. Don’t bring yourself down to them, and meet them at the low point. Don’t argue, don’t fight, don’t seek revenge. Let it go, give it to GOD. Forgive or you will never be free of the bondage, holding you back from the blessings that are waiting to be released to you.
Let go, let GOD. Let him bring you justice, trust in him and know that he wants to give you that victory. Victory over your enemies, victory over sickness, strongholds, victory in every area of your life.
You are not a survivor, you are a conqueror.
When we hold onto the hurt, the anger, the negative feelings; We give it power over us. You hating, hurting, feeling the way you do, hurts you!
The longer you hold onto it, the deeper the bitter seed is planted inside of you, and harder to weed out. A bitter root produces bitter fruit, and it will be harvested somewhere in your life. In your health, in your relationships, in your work life, temperament, attitude, outlook and you might not even realize why things are going sour.
Make the choice to heal yourself, for you. Make the choice to forgive, if you have to say it out loud- ” I forgive you ______”, or ” I forgive myself for ____”, and say it until you feel it start to feel some of the heaviness lift off you. You can even ask GOD to help you forgive, and heal. It might not be overnight, but it will come, and when it does you will feel so much better, happier and free. You regain your power and are free to love and be open, again, to people and blessings that may have been blocked by the hurt and bitterness within you.
In Matthew 18:21-35 The scripture tells us that Peter asked Jesus how many times should he forgive someone who sinned against him, asking “Up to seven times?”
And Jesus replied: ““I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
He also says that must forgive with all your heart, if you want your father in heaven, to forgive you.
Also, on wanting to pay people back, be vengeful, spiteful seeking revenge-
Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. – Romans 12:19
So, at the end of all, we are told through scripture to let GOD execute judgement and vengeance (revenge) and also to be openly forgiving.
Let it go!
Forgive others, forgive yourself and be healed, be happy and move on.