That kid, yelling out curse words, squealing and bouncing around, clearly too big ( or too old ) to be in a grocery cart, but in it anyways…yup, that one…that kid is mine.
Yes, I see you staring and yes, I hear your mutters, see your looks of disapproval, hear your whispers and obviously; I am not able to avoid comments directed right at me or us.
I know you’re getting impatient with his behavior, and now with his recent spitting, in garbage cans, on the sidewalk, in napkins or when none of those are available, holding the saliva in his mouth until it starts bubbling out as he speaks. I see your looks of disgust…but guess what?
I do not care.
Welcome to the world of Autism, Tourette’s, OCD, Sensory sensitivities, PDD and most importantly, my life! Correction, our lives!
What you are witnessing, dear judgmental people, is only a very tiny window into what so many more parents and their families, deal with on a daily basis.
I am not ashamed of my child, his abilities or “disabilities”.
You are shocked by what’s coming out of his mouth? *shrug*
Although, he really has no comprehension of what those “bad words” really mean, he does know that when he says them really loud, in public, that every time, he will be rewarded with reactions and oh, does he love those reactions!
On my side of the proverbial fence, I really wish people would just ignore it,so this phase can end and move to another phase that is hopefully, more acceptable, socially, but I can’t control other people and environments, so this one has stayed quite a while.
On the other hand, this is a child that had no language at three years old. I wondered if I’d ever hear him say “Mom” or be able to return an “I love you”, if he’d ever be able to tell me when he needed something or ask for what he wanted. Even getting him to point to something, it wasn’t that long ago that these were things I pondered on, almost mournfully.
Now, he can say he wants something that he sees, as we pass it in an aisle, he can answer a yes or no question, he can tell me when he needs to use the bathroom…or go spit. So, forgive me, if when he blurts out profanity, with a huge smile on his face, in the middle of Walmart, and you look at me and don’t see me get mad or embarrassed.
I am proud of my son. I am proud of how far he has come. I am constantly amazed by the gains he has made and he continuously surprises me.
As for behaviors, don’t judge us parents, or our special needs children.
There are so many factors going on, so many behaviors, so many therapies, so many melt downs, so many constant battles that we all have to endure. So many things that even if I tried to explain them to you, right now, if you had no knowledge of what Autism is, you couldn’t possibly understand. There are things that even the most seasoned parents ( of these special children ) don’t quite understand or have a grip on. It’s a constant learning experience and each child within the spectrum is different. No cookie cutter therapies, answers or help here!
What we need the most, is understanding.
Understand we are doing what we can, to the best of our capabilities. Just like your children, our children; Came with no manuals, instructions and no mapped out things you could expect and how to deal with it. Our kids don’t respond to normal discipline, parental body language of disapproval, bribes and threats.
It’s not that easy for us. A lot of things that “normal” families take for granted are things we have to fight for or wish we could experience.
I could go on for days, so I will cut this short here and leave it like this…
I am unapologetic in regards to the fact that I have to lead my life as well and I have errands and things to do, just like everybody else and I will do it, with my child in toe. Dealing with whatever behaviors, challenges or meltdowns happen along the way. I have no choice, life will and must go on and I am also dedicated to providing my child with as much of a “normal” life and experiences as I can. I will not deny him life experiences and hide him away from an ever judgmental, public eye.
My child, will be an adult and needs to learn how to be integrated into society and needs to learn how to be as sociable as he can be, he needs to learn how to cope and self regulate in different environments and settings, he needs experience life and take part in it…so yes, you will continue seeing us out and about, and yes, we will be smiling.
Feel free to leave comments or share your experiences ❤